Monday, July 18, 2011

Fox News' Headline The Day After Ron Paul Wins The Republican Primary

This is only fair after doing MSNBC's Headline The Day After Ron Paul Wins the 2012 General Election... The day after Ron Paul secures the Republican Party's presidential nomination to challenge Obama for the White House, I imagine Fox News' headline might go something like this:

Ron Paul Supporters Spam GOP Primaries

New York (FoxNews.com) -- Just when you thought Ron Paul supporters couldn't get any more annoying, it turns out that they have successfully organized a massive campaign to spam the ballot boxes in Republican primaries across the country, securing enough delegates to actually award Ron Paul the Republican Party's presidential nomination.

The perennial candidate for president, who once ran on the Libertarian Party's ticket, won despite campaigning on a platform of legalizing drugs, prostitution, and gay orgies in public places, while also calling for America to surrender to the terrorists and be less important.

One top Republican strategist told FoxNews that Ron Paul only won because his supporters managed to convince enough voters to spam the polling places by voting for Ron Paul: "It has worked with a remarkable degree of success in straw polls and conventions across the country because of the libertarian congressman's enthusiastic supporters. We're just upset that they succeeded at spamming the election too."

[And then like five paragraphs of quotes by people like John McCain and Rudy Giuliani about how disappointed they are that libertarians have hijacked the GOP.]




Wes Messamore,
Editor in Chief, THL
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