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Wednesday, July 11, 2012

In College, Mitt Romney Dressed as a Police Officer to Pull People Over for Fun

By: Wes Messamore

Now this is just plain creepy:

Sometimes when I’m lying in bed at night counting sheep and thinking about the day I often wonder about: 1) ponies and 2) the fact that a bigger deal hasn’t been made about the fact Mitt Romney used to dress up like a police officer in college and pull people over. For fun.

College is a time in many Americans’ lives when they do stupid shit like smoke too much pot, drink a lot, or have a lot of sex. That’s considered pretty “de rigueur” in college; these are kinks you work out of your system. You then leave said institution to go through the modern world paying your taxes and doing the right thing.

But the GOP presidential candidate had a different gig: instead of drinking and smoking like the rest of America (he claims to have had “one sip” of beer and one drag of a cigarette his entire life, a number we don’t dispute), he would remain perfectly sober and put on a police uniform and pull people over.

According to TV producer Robin Madden, a former friend of Romney during his time at Stanford:

“He told us that he had gotten the uniform from his father,” George Romney, then the Governor of Michigan, whose security detail was staffed by uniformed troopers. “He told us that he was using it to pull over drivers on the road. He also had a red flashing light that he would attach to the top of his white Rambler. We thought it was all pretty weird. We all thought, ‘Wow, that’s pretty creepy.’ And after that, we didn’t have much interaction with him.”

Yikes! I can't think of any better reason why this man should not be president of the United States of America. Okay, that's not exactly true; I can think of a ton of good reasons, but this is definitely one of them! As a student in college, his idea of "fun" was dressing as a police officer and fake-detaining people on the side of the road. Somebody clearly loves power. I'm reminded of studies that have shown politicians share psychological traits in common with serial killers.

Mitt Romney is a guy that, as a student in college, got his rocks off pretending to be a police officer and pulling people over while wearing a police uniform. I always thought something was kind of off about him, but just chalked it up to the likely fact that he's an android programmed by the DNC circa 2029 to go back in time and terminate the last of the Republican Party's credibility. Now I think that theory may be wrong. Maybe he's just a psycho.

Wes Messamore,
Editor in Chief, THL
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