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Wednesday, September 20, 2017

ObamaCare and Health Insurance: The Worst Scam Ever [NSFW]

Insurance Salesman: "Your employee benefits have just kicked in at your new workplace. Congratulations!

Now you can buy ObamaCare-compliant, group-rate negotiated health insurance through your employer."

Millennial Worker: "Uh, thanks! Okay, so what's it going to cost me to insure myself, my wife, and one child?"

Insurance Salesman: "For a family of three, $600 a month."

Worker: "Phew. Seems a little steep. That's $7,200 a year. That would be my second biggest expense after my house payment.

That cuts us down from making $40,500 a year to $33,300 after paying for insurance. I mean that's ridiculous. We've both got student loans too. How do we even save?"

Insurance Salesman: "Not so fast- there's a $7,400 annual deductible too."

Worker [raises his eyebrows]: "What's that mean?"

Insurance Salesman [narrows his eyes]: "Well you have to pay for $7,400 of your own medical costs out of pocket in any given year before the insurance policy starts kicking in."

Worker [shaking his head]: "Wow. So I'm paying $600 a month, every month, all year, in order to have to spend another $7,400 more of my own money that year, before I get anything back?"

Insurance Salesman [smiling]: "Well I wouldn't say anything. You do get some perks. You're lucky you're getting it through your employer. Most of the ACA plans have $12,000 deductibles."

Worker [spits out his coffee]: "So you're pretty much telling me I have to spend $7,400 to get anything back for my $600 a month? What if I only spend a grand or two on health costs that year? You're just taking my money? Sounds like a scam to me."

Insurance Salesman [with a big cheesy grin]: "Well it is insurance, after all. You won't always use it, but it's there in case you do need it, and then you'll be happy you have it."

Worker [fuming]: "Yeah, but if I do need it, you're going to make me pay $7,400 more dollars for you to cover my medical bills after I've already paid $7,200 that year. And the year before that, maybe without getting anything back. And the year before that. You're trying to talk me into a scam."

Insurance Salesman [loses the grin]: "Hold on there- we're not going to [makes air quotes w/ his fingers] cover your bills after you've paid your deductible. We're going to get you a discount on the prices and then cover a percentage of your medical bills."

Worker [suddenly and angrily pushes his chair back from the table and looks around]: "Okay. This is a fucking joke. Am I on a fucking prank show or something? Is Johnny Knoxville about to jump out of no where and kick me in the balls? We're done."

Insurance Salesman [sternly]: "Sit down, sir."

Worker [throws up a middle finger]: "Fuck you."

Insurance Salesman [with a sudden, terrifying change in his demeanor, the salesman shakes off his jovial, cheesy persona and stands up with a darkened countenance, puts his hands on the worker's shoulders, and pushes him back down into his chair forcefully as he growls]: "I said sit DOWN!"

Worker [eyes widen in shock, his voice comes out a whisper, quiet, afraid, and unsure]: "What the hell?"

Insurance Salesman [menacingly]: "We tried this the nice way, but that time is past now. You listen here, you little shit. You don't have a choice. You understand me? It's the law.

You have to pay for this insurance policy, or you can pay up in tax penalties. You can pick which way you want to do it, but we're going to get our piece of you either way."

Worker [still in shock, but getting angry again]: "You're a fucking psycho."

Insurance Salesman [breaks into a toothy, malevolent smile]: "Yeah, but I got the law on my side."

Worker: "This isn't law! This is like a fucking mafia shakedown. What happens if I refuse to pay any of it?"

Insurance Salesman: "We'll garnish it from your wages and put you in prison for willful tax evasion. You don't get to say 'No.'"

Worker [leaps out of his chair over the table in a blind rage and grabs the insurance salesman's throat, and just starts squeezing it with both hands with all his might, crushing the salesman's voice box and cutting off his supply of air- his arms flail frantically and try to push the worker off, but to no avail as his vision darkens and his consciousness fades to black]: "Fuck you and fuck this country! I hate this shit! I thought this was fucking America, not Soviet god damn Russia!" [he spits on the salesman's limp body, and stands there stoically as security bursts through the doors and hits him with a taser, dropping him to the ground with a horrendous crackling sound]

Pretty much what it boils down to.

I did not make up the figures and facts about how health insurance works in this. I can't even believe millennials haven't started rioting yet.

Or at least realized that the Democratic Party is scamming the hell out of them and stop voting for Democrats that are draining away their life force!

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