The Humble Libertarian

Mind your business.



Tuesday, September 5, 2017

"We Need to Ensure Only Legal Workers Are Hired..." [NSFW]




Government Official: "We need to ensure only legal workers are hired."

Immigrant: "You're saying I'm 'an illegal worker?' What have I done wrong?"


Government Official: "Well you're standing there."

Immigrant: "Where should I be standing?"


Government Official: "Somewhere in your country."

Immigrant: "My country?"


Government Official: "The country you were born in."

Immigrant: "Why can't I stand here? I'm not causing any problems. He owns this place..." [Immigrant points to his employer.] "And he says I can be here."


Government Official: "Well you didn't even tell us you were here, or get our permission to be working. This is our country you know."

[Immigrant looks over at his employer with brows knit together shaking his head like "wtf?" and his employer shrugs his shoulders and puts his hands up like "dude idk." Immigrant looks back at Government Official.]

Immigrant: "Who the fuck are you?"


Government Official: "I'm a man wearing a jacket that says I.C.E., mother fucker! And all these others guys gave me permission to put you in handcuffs and make you get in my car."

[Immigrant's eyes widen in confusion and horror.]

Immigrant: "Holy shit! Jake, do something!"


[Immigrant tries to run out of the room. Government Official leaps on him and tackles him to the ground, then starts trying to put handcuffs on Immigrant's wrist as he struggles frantically.]

Immigrant [frantically]: "Holy shit! Holy shit! What the fuck are you doing, you crazy asshole! What the fuck!"

[The employer jumps on the Government Official's back and tries to put him in a full nelson hold. Emboldened, Immigrant lets out a horrifying war cry and head butts the Government Official in the face, then tries to slip out from under him.]


Government Official [out of breath]: "Oh no! You're not going to get away from me that easily, you filthy mother fucker!"

Immigrant [desperately]: "What the fuck! I've never fucked anybody's mother, you crazy fucking asshole!"


[Now it could never go down like this for some immigrants, because they can't speak English that well at all. Which makes it particularly scummy for Donald Trump to pick on immigrants and take advantage of the fact that a lot of them don't speak English very well.

But this is what it pretty much boils down to.]