At a Hollywood awards show Sunday, Jimmy Kimmel– the Democratic Party's fleshlight– said that the Oscar Award statuette is Hollywood's perfect man because:
"Keeps his hands where you can see them, never says a rude word, and, most importantly, no penis at all. He is literally a statue of limitations."
Scrap the rest of this blog post.
That pun at the end was the real crime.
But yeah, that's the state of liberalism in 2018 folks.
When you're a mean parody of yourself, you're so dead.
You're not even real anymore at that point.
"...and, most importantly, no penis at all."
The Hollywood Left's perfect man.
Seriously, is Jimmy's performance a conservative's mocking caricature of a liberal, or is this an actual 2018 liberal?
I like how he didn't just stop at no penis.
He really had to emphasize that there was no penis at all.
Like not even a nub. Not even a prehensile clitoris like the pseudo-penis of the female spotted hyena.
|(The Left's Ideal Woman)|
"Listen men, if there's even the slightest hint of a protrusion from your crotch– YOU'RE NOT A GOOD MAN!
GOOD MEN DON'T HAVE PENISES!!!
WE DEMAND MEN WITH NO DICKS!!
WE DEMAND IT!"
Come on, Jimmy, we have come to expect this unreal level of remarkable in(s)anity out of completely clueless virgin social justice warrior college students...
But the spectacle of a successful, grown man saying this shit– is the death knell for this brand of Leftism and for Kimmel's career.
I bet Sunday's historically low Oscar ratings are just the beginning of a well deserved slide into oblivion.
Kimmel pointed out on Twitter yesterday that all television has had low ratings since Netflix happened. Exactly right.
The Internet has the mojo, and the old television– dominated by the sterile, impotent, penis-hating Left– has lost its mojo.
We live in a world where a former host of a TV program called The Man Show is now saying the ideal man would have no dick.
Well without a penis, what's a man supposed to do with this?
Or all of these???
No, dear reader, I'm not a sexist.
I was just trying to joke like the Democrats' darling Jimmy Kimmel used to joke on The Man Show.
Pretty funny right? I think so!
Feminists should like that joke.
The butt of the joke is the idea that sex is all women are good for.
Yes I am defending Jimmy Kimmel now, but The Man Show version, not his current blighted instantiation.
But you know who is sexist?
2018 Jimmy Kimmel for his bigoted anti-penis joke.
I hear you, he's talking about sexual abuse in his industry.
That's what's so fucking objectionable about the joke.
It puts the mere fact of having a penis on some kind of level with sexual assault. That's seriously slanderous and sexist.
|Look at this rapin' baby's rapin' penis.|
|You know what to do, Liberals.|
|Just cut that dick right off and the world will be a better place.|
The perfect man has no penis so he can't rape.
Blaming the existence of penises for the choice an individual made to rape or sexually assault someone is absolute horse shit.
Imagine Jimmy Kimmel crouching down with his pants around his ankles and just shitting all over your dick.
That's what he's doing.
Fuck you Jimmy Kimmel.
We don't want you to do that to our dicks.
We like our dicks.
We think they are very nice dicks.
So fuck you Jimmy.
I think mine's delightful.
And as one of my friends on Twitter said:
Not gonna lie, I'm pretty fond of mine.— Scam Than Noon (@ScamThanNoon) March 5, 2018
We like our penises!
And we're not hurting anybody with them.
So if Jimmy doesn't like it, he can blow me.
...and I'll probably change his mind about everything.
Remember Jimmy also blames every single one of just a certain model of rifle in the entire country (think of all the free publicity he gives that rifle)– for an individual's choice to use one to do evil.
So it's no wonder he would put the blame on penises as such for something evil a few individuals chose to do with their penises.
You know women have sexually assaulted people too.
|Actually fucked a 12 year old, got three months in jail,|
and didn't have to register as a sex offender.
There's at least dozens of Mary Kay Letourneaus.
But thought leaders and influencers aren't bitching about women in general over it like a bunch of sexist total morons because of the choices a few individuals have made.
|Look at those rapin' tits!|
This is why the Left is on its deathbed.
It tries its damnedest to keep any notion of individual responsibility out of its understanding of humanity.
And that's catastrophic.
Individual responsibility is the most golden thing we've got.
It's the sense of individual responsibility that holds the world together. Not governments. Not borders.
It's that each individual is responsible for their own actions.
And we believe that's true.
And we act like it.
And we succeed to the degree that we hold individuals accountable for their own actions.
In the history of humanity, that sense of individual responsibility was most exemplified in the ethos of America, which is why America would bring so much good into the world.
Assigning group guilt has been a dangerous game to play throughout history. And it's just appalling.
It's actually the definition of prejudice and bigotry– which the Left claims it exists to oppose.
And the other reason why the Left's dead:
It has lost faith in Masculinity. It doesn't want Men.
And Men Are an Essential Half of Humanity.
So the Left is the literal definition of sterility, of extinction.
And most of us don't want humanity to go extinct.
Half of humanity is masculine and half is feminine.
Half is phallic and half is yonic.
This is how we came to be.
And we're very, very good.
And while it's easy for modern people to pick over the obvious flaws of ancient people from their writings...
The traditional religions that all these modern, worldly, liberal people have been cut off from get this right.
|Yin and Yang, an ancient Taoist symbol for|
the dynamic balance between male and female.
|In this modern symbol of the ancient Jewish religion,|
the upward pointing triangle of the Star of David
represents the masculine element of humanity,
while the downward pointing triangle represents
humanity's feminine element.
|Ancient Christianity venerated the feminine and masculine|
as equal partners in the salvation of humankind.
The old stories make a whole-hearted attempt to understand human nature and help individuals to navigate this world.
They paint the full picture.
Humanity is going to go to the stars because of the treasury of understanding in our ancestors' first written thoughts.
And the inane ravings of unhinged political ideologues– cut off from their own stories, from their own dreams, from their own biological natures– will wash out soon enough.
And now– girls jumping on trampolines!
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