Mind your business.

Sunday, January 6, 2019

Reportedly, The Entire State Of Alabama Has Amputated Their Legs In Protest Of Ocasio-Cortez Viral Dancing Video...

By: Aaron R. Jones and Wes Messamore
The Humble Libertarian

In the wake of a popular viral video of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Boston University college school mates reenacting the dance scene from The Breakfast Club, the entire state of Alabama has decided to go without legs for the rest of their lives.

In a real life case of cutting off your legs to spite a congresswoman from a faraway state, residents throughout the state began taking to their own hips and thighs with bone saws, chain saws, hack saws, metal saws, see saws, soy saws, and any other kinds of saws they could get their angry trembling hands on in those rare moments during which they're so triggered by something that they're able to pry them off their Bibles and their guns. And anyone who's woke at all knows that the vast right-wing racist conspiracy in America just hates seeing women and minorities succeeding.

When You're The First One In The Bread Line:

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Dances In Unearthed College Video

All kidding aside...

These videos are absolutely adorable.

No wonder conservatives are obsessed with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. She's funny and cute. And they're captivated by her for all the same reasons that endear them to Donald Trump–– she's a socialist identitarian from outside the establishment, an underdog who wasn't supposed to win, who panders to working class people–– and like Donald Trump she has a real personality, magic and charm. And they're both total narcissists.

But could you imagine being the subject of more jokes making fun of your intelligence than Dan Qayle?

You've got to have a thick skin for that.

But it probably helps a lot that before the age of 30 she toppled a senior congressman and took his seat. 😆

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